As I’ve said before, this is my second year working with the choreographer Siew Wan. I remembered the first time when she told me that she had a very challenging choreography for me, not on the technical side but on the emotional side. I saw it as a dare and I so took it up. And challenging it was…
I complained/groaned/whined with every small steps into my solo portion of the dance. I kind of disliked it, especially when I foresaw the amount of emotions that I have to put in eventually. Then I resisted the idea of rehearsing the dance items in UCC Dance studio when all the other dancers would be around. I was just not ready yet. I was not mentally prepared to be “emotional” in front of a group of audience, however small it may be. “Can I not shout today?” became one of my most frequently question asked during choreography sessions and rehearsals.
But Siew Wan persisted and pushed me… Ho ho ho~ This choreographer just pushed me again and again…
距离 | Distance
My heart beats for you in the void you have left. I still feel you, I know you are here…
How do I live in the shadows she has left, and cry the tears you cried for her…
You never gave a second glance, yet I could never let you go.
If fate once brought us together, love now tears us apart.
How do we live with the distance between us?
Recalled the first time seeing my dance partners; those juniors whom I’ve never seen before. I should have met them if I hadn’t been involved in the Korea trip and attended technique class. The only thing I’ve heard of them is that they belong to this “chatty clique of juniors”… Oh, so they are Clarissa and Xinyi…
Fast forward to a few choreography sessions after, I realized that I am very impressed with their level of dedication. It’s their first time attempting dance involving pair work. Have difficult/awkward moves? They experiment among themselves until they get the hang of it and then they practice it with me again. (I suddenly recall the incident where I did a lift with Clarissa and she blushed immediately.) Have some parts of the choreography that does not look graceful? They initiated to get me to practice with them until the moves are smooth again… YY was a relatively new dancer and he was super enthusiastic about practicing and perfecting too. The wheelbarrow(?) action that he had with Xinyi just got better and better and better. So this is how it feels like to dance with dedicated dancers…
Then it was time for full runs and performance. The time I needed to get into the right emotional state got shorter and shorter. I guess it’s the same for other dancers too. During the last perforamnce, I was already tearing when Clarissa died. Clarissa teared while she is dying and Xiyi cried even before she returned on stage.
At the very end of it all, I think it’s worth the effort and it was a wonderful journey. This item unlocked a part of me which I thought didn’t exist…
- My make up stains Clarissa’s dress every performance.
- The audience in the first night had a huge response when YY slapped Xinyi. I think Xinyi had lots of fans out there among the audience (most of them were guys if I am not wrong).
- Winter Solstice was a “warm-up dance” for this item.
- I had to depend on Xinyi to cue me on when I return on stage.
- I did not attempt to kiss Clarissa.